March 1st < March 2nd

Ok I firmly now believe the Mayans were right. 2012 baby. Now we have earthquakes, tsunamis, killer hurricanes, deadly blizzards, and everything in between..all in one year. And you know what..while the climate is having its own mental breakdown...I think this whole Armageddon type prophecy might also be linked to my life long journey of awkward/random situations

Were do I begin..well well well. OK so I always seem to find myself in the strangest situations..situations in which people say "Only you Mai. Only that would happen to you." And while those moments make life interesting sometimes I think..... " what on earth did I do in my past life to deserve this kind of karma."

But nevertheless I love these situations. It is what I love to write about.

So once again I am going to take you through two typical days in the life of Mai.

(now imagine type-writer sounds synonymous with apocalyptic type movies)

For some reason I have some days where "When it rains it pours." And man did it pour on March 1st.

Mai's list of unfortunate events, March 1st 2010.
- The compositions I need to correct are missing.. all 30 of them.
- I can't find my teacher's phone number or email to tell him they are missing.
- My Yoigo phone decides to stop working.
- Due to some bad circumstances my friends and I are neither going to Valencia or Monfrague... two trips turned into zero.
- I check my bank account to 1) see if la junta has paid us so I can pay rent in 3 days and 2) to see if I have enough money to fly to Valencia. Not only have I not been paid...but I only have 50 euros and 200 euro rent to pay in 3 days.
- Nicole and I try to book a cheaper trip to Sevilla... but wait the bus website will not work...nor the hostel website.
- My phone continues to not work
- ....and finally I burn my hand on the oven. WOOT

In the end, things cleared up....but now I have a blister on my finger. In the words of Snookie from Jersey Shore "wahhhh".

And then comes March 2nd....
My favorite type of day. My day of absolute randomness and awkardness...come to mama.

Mai's list of random things March 2nd 2010 begins...(drumroll)... NOW

May 2nd. Malpartida de Cáceres. 8:30 am.
8:30 - 12:30 Classes are normal. Students are actually participating today. We all sing "we will rock you" and " we are the champions" by Queen in relation to the Olympics....I mean who doesn't love Queen?! and who doesn't love waving the "air lighter"... the better cousin to the "air guitar".

12:31 Recreo (break or recess). I start to chat with my teachers like normal.

Oti my main teacher in Arroyo tells me: "Mai you dress European..is it because your from Boston? I hear Boston is the most European city of the United States."
Me: "I don't know. Maybe."

Oti: "Can I come to your wedding?"
and signal random alert. beep beep beep

Me: (surprised) "Of Course..but it won't be for a long time. I need to have a boyfriend before a husband"

Oti: "I find you a husband. I want an excuse to go to the United States. So you must get married soon."

Me: "haha...(awkward shrug)"

13:00 After some market shopping, gossiping, and joking around we head back to school. After recreo on Tuesdays I normally have a free period. I enter the teacher's room and I resume my normal position that I like to take on Tuesdays.

I wedge my bum into a comfy chair with the warm brasero and a newspaper. I am all comfortable until.....yup the creepy old teacher who always tries to talk to me comes walking over. man. here he comes again.

Creepy old man teacher: "mai. are you bored?"

Me: "no. im just tired"

Creepy old man then tries to tell me a joke using English phonetics..which would have been funny if I had known that the joke was supposed to sound like English. I didn't really get it but apparently the word for jaguar in Spanish sounds like "how are you" and that zorri (another word for Zorro) sounds like "sorry"..I don't know anyway this is the same teacher that gives me too much information and he tells me that "zorra" the word for a female fox is another word for "puta" or bitch.

I don't even know...

THEN another teacher across the sala de profesores shouts "MAI. como se dice 'PUTA' en Inglés" ....

and before I know it... I am yelling "bitch".."bitch" across the teachers loung..in an elementary school. wow.

Trying to make this seem relevant I then explain that you should be careful with the word beach (la playa) and bitch (puta) because they sound similar.

Creepy old man teacher than says: "Quieres estar morena necessitas tomar el sol de la playa"

me: " what?????"

Creepy old man teacher: "Es una broma. el sol de la playa. el sol...como el hijo."

me: " i don't understand."

creepy old man teacher: " a son of a bitch"

me: "seriously ...I understand the words but I have no idea what you are talking about"

Creepy old man: " el sol en la playa es' the sun of the beach' which sounds like 'the son of a bitch' si quieres estar morena necessitas tomar el sol de la playa..if you want to be tan you have to take in the sun of the beach (or the son of the bitch).

me: ohhhhhhh...wow

...that was a horrible joke.
but I secretly thought it was kind of awesome. I have a soft spot for lame jokes.

March 1st < March 2nd.

A day in the life