IVE MOVED!

Sorry Blogger fanatics I've moved to Wordpress. It just is better. So my blog is now at

http://maiflower.wordpress.com/

Please still read!

exceptional reading!

Sometimes when I am bored I like to flip through my school books. Normally they appear as a general English school book should..but then by off chance I find an extraordinary excerpt..particularly regarding the culture area and well...take a look for yourself.

What's Up ESO 1: Chapter 6 EXPLORERS

Peanut Butter and Jelly!
American soldiers invented this sandwich in World War II. It's a popular teatime snack for children in the U.S.A. (because we have tea-time in america...)

Ingredients (as if the name doesn't already give it away!...drumroll please)
- 2 slices of white bread (even though the picture displays wheat bread...god can't they get anything right?)
- 2 spoonfuls of stawberry jam or jelly
- 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter

and what..no directions! so i just have bread, pp&j and jelly in two spoons...awesome. totally inedible.

WHAT'S UP ESO 2 Chapter 7: Say Please!

When in Britain
Every Culture has different "rules" of behaviour. Here are some tips to help you if you go to Brtain.

1. When you meet someone for the first time, you should shake hands and say How do you do? If you know the person well, you can kiss them on the cheek, but only once not twice. Boys and men don't usually kiss or hug each other.

2. You musn't stand too close to people when you're chatting. If you do, people will move away from you. But don't worry, it's not because you smell!

3. You shouldn't make a lot of noise with your friends in public. People will stare angrily at you. And children musn't scream and run around, especially not in restaurants.

4. The British hide their emotions, so don't cry or laugh loudly in public. If you win the lottery, you would say Oh, that's great! And if your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you, say Never Mind there are lots more fish in the sea and then go home and cry.

5. The three most important expressions in English are please, thank you and sorry. To be polite you have to use them all the time. And if you don't agree with someone, you musn't say I don't agree - say Yes, that's very interesting.

If you follow these simple rules, you won't have any problems in Britain.

Alright alright...fairly accurate. And while I am American and am not British I think its fair to say ..that not showing emotions in public but rather going home and CRYING...is a little harsh. WAAHHHH

WHAT'S UP ESO 2 Chapter 9 Get it right! (ohhhhhh the irony)

Which is the biggest city on the west coast of the USA? Washington or New York?

seriously....

i just hope this was a typo.

Now time to go watch LOST or something awesome like that :)

March 1st < March 2nd

Ok I firmly now believe the Mayans were right. 2012 baby. Now we have earthquakes, tsunamis, killer hurricanes, deadly blizzards, and everything in between..all in one year. And you know what..while the climate is having its own mental breakdown...I think this whole Armageddon type prophecy might also be linked to my life long journey of awkward/random situations

Were do I begin..well well well. OK so I always seem to find myself in the strangest situations..situations in which people say "Only you Mai. Only that would happen to you." And while those moments make life interesting sometimes I think..... " what on earth did I do in my past life to deserve this kind of karma."

But nevertheless I love these situations. It is what I love to write about.

So once again I am going to take you through two typical days in the life of Mai.

(now imagine type-writer sounds synonymous with apocalyptic type movies)

For some reason I have some days where "When it rains it pours." And man did it pour on March 1st.

Mai's list of unfortunate events, March 1st 2010.
- The compositions I need to correct are missing.. all 30 of them.
- I can't find my teacher's phone number or email to tell him they are missing.
- My Yoigo phone decides to stop working.
- Due to some bad circumstances my friends and I are neither going to Valencia or Monfrague... two trips turned into zero.
- I check my bank account to 1) see if la junta has paid us so I can pay rent in 3 days and 2) to see if I have enough money to fly to Valencia. Not only have I not been paid...but I only have 50 euros and 200 euro rent to pay in 3 days.
- Nicole and I try to book a cheaper trip to Sevilla... but wait the bus website will not work...nor the hostel website.
- My phone continues to not work
- ....and finally I burn my hand on the oven. WOOT

In the end, things cleared up....but now I have a blister on my finger. In the words of Snookie from Jersey Shore "wahhhh".

And then comes March 2nd....
My favorite type of day. My day of absolute randomness and awkardness...come to mama.

Mai's list of random things March 2nd 2010 begins...(drumroll)... NOW

May 2nd. Malpartida de Cáceres. 8:30 am.
8:30 - 12:30 Classes are normal. Students are actually participating today. We all sing "we will rock you" and " we are the champions" by Queen in relation to the Olympics....I mean who doesn't love Queen?! and who doesn't love waving the "air lighter"... the better cousin to the "air guitar".

12:31 Recreo (break or recess). I start to chat with my teachers like normal.

Oti my main teacher in Arroyo tells me: "Mai you dress European..is it because your from Boston? I hear Boston is the most European city of the United States."
Me: "I don't know. Maybe."

Oti: "Can I come to your wedding?"
and signal random alert. beep beep beep

Me: (surprised) "Of Course..but it won't be for a long time. I need to have a boyfriend before a husband"

Oti: "I find you a husband. I want an excuse to go to the United States. So you must get married soon."

Me: "haha...(awkward shrug)"

13:00 After some market shopping, gossiping, and joking around we head back to school. After recreo on Tuesdays I normally have a free period. I enter the teacher's room and I resume my normal position that I like to take on Tuesdays.

I wedge my bum into a comfy chair with the warm brasero and a newspaper. I am all comfortable until.....yup the creepy old teacher who always tries to talk to me comes walking over. man. here he comes again.

Creepy old man teacher: "mai. are you bored?"

Me: "no. im just tired"

Creepy old man then tries to tell me a joke using English phonetics..which would have been funny if I had known that the joke was supposed to sound like English. I didn't really get it but apparently the word for jaguar in Spanish sounds like "how are you" and that zorri (another word for Zorro) sounds like "sorry"..I don't know anyway this is the same teacher that gives me too much information and he tells me that "zorra" the word for a female fox is another word for "puta" or bitch.

I don't even know...

THEN another teacher across the sala de profesores shouts "MAI. como se dice 'PUTA' en Inglés" ....

and before I know it... I am yelling "bitch".."bitch" across the teachers loung..in an elementary school. wow.

Trying to make this seem relevant I then explain that you should be careful with the word beach (la playa) and bitch (puta) because they sound similar.

Creepy old man teacher than says: "Quieres estar morena necessitas tomar el sol de la playa"

me: " what?????"

Creepy old man teacher: "Es una broma. el sol de la playa. el sol...como el hijo."

me: " i don't understand."

creepy old man teacher: " a son of a bitch"

me: "seriously ...I understand the words but I have no idea what you are talking about"

Creepy old man: " el sol en la playa es' the sun of the beach' which sounds like 'the son of a bitch' si quieres estar morena necessitas tomar el sol de la playa..if you want to be tan you have to take in the sun of the beach (or the son of the bitch).

me: ohhhhhhh...wow

...that was a horrible joke.
but I secretly thought it was kind of awesome. I have a soft spot for lame jokes.

March 1st < March 2nd.

A day in the life

It all began yesterday.

While I normally post about my random scenarios I am going to post about my wonderful teacher Oti's unfortunate mishap. Yesterday, I received a text "please come at 8:40 tomorrow instead?" 8:40? I always come at 8:40 ....weird.

Anyway I arrive at Oti's apartment at exactly 8:40. Same as always. And same as always she was running late. We leave the house and Oti says

"My normal car is broken...we have to take an older car. Ill explain on the way to school. It's slower so that is why we have to leave early."

I think to myself oh is she embarrassed? Is this a 1980 station wagon and she wants to leave early to avoid stares? I mean the woman drives a brand new BMW..she has two.


We get to the car. Its a 1974 Volkswagon bug. YUP. The herbie car. As shown below.

NICEEEEEEEE

I am grinning ear to ear. This is going to be AWESOME. We get into the car. The seats have springs in them and the back seat has no seat belt. ha. ha. ha.

We start driving and we go up the ramp to leave the garage and the car stalls...

stalls and then starts rolling BACKWARDS and she shouts "Venga mi caballero!" "Come on my knight!"

She has to put on the emergency break and after THREE times (after rolling 3/4ths down) she is able to get up the ramp....phew

Remember the minor seatbelt detail?? yeah.

Then the stalling continues.

Once in an intersection...once going up another hill....and another in the rotary.

All optimal places to be stuck.

Now the daughter is laughing hysterically..and I'm bouncing around the backseat because 1) there are springs in the seat and 2)I have no seat belt.

Eventually we get to the daughters school and I move up to the front seat. Now for why the normal BMW is not working and why we are in the 1974 Herbie car.

Oti begins to tell me..

"So you know in the Parte Antigua..those pillars that block cars from entering. Those pillars can go down if you have a key and you can drive over them....WELL I was following a van in and I thought it was the time when you could enter the Parte Antigua so I just drove after him. Well he had a key and made the pillars go up to block other cars. Well the pillars ended up rising underneath the car..crushing everything and lifting the back end of my car into the air."

I am trying so hard not to laugh.

She continues...

" So I had to call the mechanic to take it to the shop and my husbands in Madrid so I was all upset. And then the mechanic starts to list of all the things that are wrong with the car and I start to cry. Anyway so now we are taking this car. Sometimes I think it will fly away like in the movie Herbie"

I think.. at least shes in good spirits now. But what a ridiculous story.

And then it continues...

Later in the day we get coffee and come back to find the students surrounding her car.

We think they are just interested because its an antique until we hear a student shout "paloma" which means pigeon. I think..what????

We get closer and there is a PIGEON stuck in the exhaust. Oh.my.god.
You could see the little feathers sticking out.

I start laughing again....poor pigeon, poor Oti. She bends down to try to pull the bird out but all she gets are feathers.

Now I have to leave the scene because I was laughing uncontrollably. Oti later has to get the janitor to pull out the bird which later left a pile of feathers and grease. So sad.

Fortunately Oti is a good sport and I got a few giggles for the day. And hopefully I will get more rides in the beetle! As long as we don't stall in anymore intersections....or ramps

VIVA ESPANA VIVA MALPALPA Y ARROYO..VIVA MIS PROFESORES

SO before I depart I feel it is only necessary that I updated you on the total epicness and chaos that was my Christmas Dinner in Spain.

holy.shit.

I have two schools as I have said before. One in Malpartida and one in Arroyo. As traditional Spaniards these people love their alcohol and they love to party. Both schools had dinners but I decided to go to the Malpartida dinner because 1) they were paying for my dinner and 2) they asked me first. Soooo Malpartida it was.

My main teacher in Malpartida is named Oti ...(oh only if I had fotos!!!! por favor ..madre mia) Oti is this crazy awesome woman who is well always late. She is always late when were going to school, to the dinner, to everything (I've learned the majority of swear/slang words and terms for "idiot" from this woman). Well anyway she comes running to the car that picks everyone up and she has....

She had her blinking christmas tree earrings. That played music. YES

Anyway thats not the real crazy part. First we start off at 9 getting a few beers. Two beers. Check.

We then head to the restaurant. Fancy. High class. Excellent. Im excited. A 50 euro meal for me! For Free! Bring it.

First off we are served red wine..which to my unknown knowledge was being constantly replenished by the wait staff. Every time I thought I was finishing my glass and turned away...it was refilled. And after a while you forget... so 4-5 glasses?? (maybe more?). check.

We start eating. I get the fish as the main plate but that's just the main plate. I get seafood soup, some weird toasta thing that was delicious ( it had mango and i dare say...liver, but I just wont think about that), fancy mushrooms in soy sauce (not a favorite), cod (the main dish), then dessert which was fruit and a toffee drink..of course with some champagne. so champagne. check.

Ok sorry sorry. Was distracted by the food. Now one to the funny stuff. The conversations.

Now if you have never studied a language abroad, I am going to tell you now, its way easier to speak in another language when you are ..well after a few drinks. But here are three of the conversations of what I think I understood.

"MAI! You must find a boyfriend. That is the best way for you to learn Spanish! TONIGHT We find you a boyfriend. OK? OK! MAI! We must dance after dinner! DANCE! Did you know "dancing" is a medicine for small children in Spanish?" - Patricia
- Yup she did make that transition. Boyfriend and Medicine.

"MAI! I have a joke for you. 6 men were in a military plane ready to jump out. The commander ordered them to jump out of the plane and deploy their parachutes. They all jumped out...but one with hesitation. The commander yells at the soldier and the soldier jumps out. The commander closes the door and goes back to the cockpit. All of a sudden he hears a knock on the door. Confused he goes to the door (they are still in the sky). He opens the door and sees the hesitated soldier flapping his arms asking "whats the name of the indian! whats the name of the indian!" and the commander goes ....."GIRONAMO!" - Oti
- It took me a second. Spanish humor is a little different :). I told my banana joke. Did not go so well. Anyway moving on!

"MAI! Are all people in America mixed? Is it difficult..you know with the customs? I just can't imagine. Only Chinese people here mix with the Chinese people in Spain. You are an impossible possiblity!" - Montse
- Im going to let that one slide hahahah

Ok 6 glasses of wine later....

Present time! We did a gift exchange called the "amigo invisable" or aka yankee swap. I bought wine and truffles thinking that was neutral and mature. My mistake. I was supposed to find the most random gift I could possibly imagine!

First gift: Some mugs..but o wait they are cheap and written in poor english. Is that a coconut candle?

Second gift: a hippie necklace. which was given to Alfonso the 68 year old man who earlier in the week explained the difference between saying you are good and if you are "fine" aka hot and the difference between saying you are warm and saying you are horny. so awkward. anyway Alfonso got the hippie necklace

Third gift: a shoe shine box???? I dont know but everyone got free shoe shining for the rest of the night!

Fourth gift: a reading stand. yeah.

Fifth gift: my gift. which was on purpose. they made me read the letter out loud to practice. but anyway the gift was a fairy paperweight. it was a fairy sitting on a paperweight holding another paperweight. with all sorts of glitter. So there are about 60 photos of me sitting like the fairy holding the paper weight with the fairy holding the paperweight..all in a santa hat. imitation photos...check

sixth gift: a gael garcia marquez book titled Memoria de mis putas tristes. This caused the entire 30 person table to go in uproar and chant "PUTAS" which means "whore" in a high upper end restaurant. epicness check.

and the gifts continued. the waitress brings "chupitos" which are shots. chupitos check. and the camera then became popular. i now have 100 or so other photos of me and the english department battling the french department for the camera and the santa hat. guess who won?

anyway so now i have atleast 4 different types of alcohol in my system. plus random food. and i am going to admit now..i ended up puking in the bathroom. yes i did. i do not have the tolerance or stamina like these people!! i'm half asian i dont process alcohol. please stop laughing at me.

as i leave the bathroom upset i threw up my 50 euro meal i return to the total drunken shit show that are my teachers. I then find my teacher Mamen kissing..everyone. Love her! <3

time to leave.

now on the way to the car they have me singing the english part of feliz navidad while they sing the spanish (so i had a solo) all the way down the street. at the top of our lungs. check.

time to go to the pubs. more drinking. oh.my.god.

first off the woman who was driving. should not have been driving. worst drive ever. and my teacher oti was laughing hysterically about it the entire time. yesssss.

anyway we get to the first bar. and its all old Spanish music about bulls and there were a hundred "oles" in there. Then Oti randomly tells me " all the high school men are happy" and she tells me to "look". I have no idea what this means. I can assume but Id rather not. Moving on.

we go to the next bar. time for dancing (not the medicine..the english one)! this bar brings back the 90's flash back and we rock out to "i saw the sign" YES. Patricia tries to teach me flamenco. fail. Montse tries to push me on spanish men. They want to find my "novio" but later Patricia decided " your boyfriend is not here...look around. no. they are not good enough". Thanks Patricia. Also my coat almost ignited on fire. drunk teachers smoking near a wool coat. Fail.

We continue to dance and then! I get a phone call. Its Pepa from Arroyo!!!! Being the total manipulator that I can be sometimes I convinced her to come to the bar I am at with (which I did not know would happen) the entire staff of Arroyo.

So now the entire bar is dominated with my two schools!!!! Arroyo and Malpartida! YESSSSSSSS! Party! Party! Party! We dance, I accidentally almost kiss people on the mouth(remember I am still getting used to the kiss kiss), We battle over who is better Michael or Madonna. Epicness. The night ends well. I probably spoke my best spanish over a good quantity of alcohol and I got to see all my teachers before Christmas. check.

This is a photo from the ham dinner in Arroyo but..I think it sums up everything nicely "VIVA LA REPUBLICA! VIVA ESPANA!"...and yup he is standing on a stool.

how do i take down that blinking awkward sign over my head

So while I have been ragging on my fellow Spaniards on their quirky style, I think its time I start noting my inability to blend effortlessly into the Spanish culture. In short, I always end up acting like a total American Spaz. And its only me. All the other Americans...you guys are fine. I think I just have issues in this department.

First off.. I basically came here not speaking a lick of Spanish. Yup I took it in college...two years ago and I dont remember a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. Hence my reason for coming to Spain. Have to learn somehow.

Anyway I have been sort of improving...I have more vocabulary now. I have mastered the present tense (I think)..and well...ok the present tense only. The past tense is in the working process. Lets not even talk about subjunctive.

While most Spaniards try to speak slowly to help me learn. Others...I think enjoy me relishing in discomfort.

For example or por ejemplo. This 16 year old heiress who I tutor loves to constantly remind me that I "speak Spanish with a English accent".
Well..I am from America. I do speak ENGLISH. And you know what! Its "an English accent". Grammar lesson for today. If the word begins in a vowel..you use "an"! She also charmingly told her father, who I just introduced myself to, that I could speak english but not Spanish and that I couldn't explain English grammar to her in Spanish.
(burries face into hands)

I also cannot do the effing lisp. And of course every student I call on...has the lisp in their name.

"what is your name?"
"celia" (pronounced "thelia")
"thelia?"
"no (stronger th)THelia."
"Theliaa?"
"NO THHHelia"

Ok nevermind! Next student.

"What is your name?"
"Alejandro"
"Alehandro?"
"NO. Aleha(with a hack)ndro."

(in my mind.. FUCKING A)

"Whose name is Carmen?... You Carmen..I mean Carrrmen. Answer the question."

Finally. Phew (wipes brow).

And then there is the the Double Kiss or what I affectionately call the Kiss + Kiss

In Spain, they do the double kiss (like France). No biggie right.
Well not for this mentally challenged American right here (points to self)!

First night:
My teacher greets me. Im jetlagged, Im sleep deprived, I just went through consulate Armageddon to get here and she whips out the Kiss + Kiss out of the blue. I thought this was only in France. My bad. Left right or right left.... FUCK

First week:
I keep forgetting the effing Kiss + Kiss. I can't remember. I just cant. I end up doing the Kiss + Kiss while holding my hand out for a handshake. AWKWARD

Second week:
Im confused. Do you just make a kissing sound or do you actually kiss. Wait. Why are you shaking my hand now, because you know Im american? Im so effing confused!

1 month:
At the Irish festival, I run into the attractive young math teacher, who of course has the beautiful nice girlfriend who you can't hate.

But all is fine. We chit-chat. I practice Spanish. All is at ease....

Then the dad shakes my hand (yup I then met the whole fam..brother included) Are they going to do American customs now? Im confused.

Lets continue.

Chit-chat some more. I accidentally spill beer (sigh..what is wrong with me)And then the dreaded....goodbye. Dad shakes hand. Brother waves. Girlfriend kiss + kisses. WTF do I do.

The math teacher goes last..he goes in for the kiss + kiss.

and then.

WHA BAM!

Oh.my.god. I had actual pain in my cheek bone. My instinct is to place my hand on his face like a mother places her hand on her child ( a mommy gesture), and the awkwardness continues, he accidentally leans his face into my hand and now its SUPER awkward.

As the rest of the family continues to look on.

Mortified I apologize profusely as he leaves and then I run and cowl in the corner. I continue to obsess over my humiliation on the way home, in the apartment and now on this blog! Its going to take me weeks...

And sadly this was not the first time it has happened. Yes I have accidentally headbanged other Spaniards. Nice to meet you :)

And i know all you Caceres lectores are ready to whip out the "thats what she said!" after that second to last sentence but let me end in peace! shesh.

OH BROTHER!

before i post..i have an unhealthy obsession with this car commercial!


wipe your tears now...(sniffle)

As you know I have been teaching English...I don't know if you would really call it teaching though... its more like we go to class for 12 hours with no tests or class on Friday. And we get paid.

sighh....our days are so taxing.

But my students are pretty funny. Lets see here..Lets see. Well the first week they had to ask me questions about myself.

Some spit-fire questions from my students in Arroyo de la Luz

" Do you like Spain?"..obviously
" Do you like Spanish food?" ...I've been here three weeks and have only eaten ham..so uh I like the cheese.
" Do you like Spanish?" ..no I hate Spanish thats why I came to a Spanish speaking country.
" Where do you live in Spain?" Caceres.
" Are your parents living in Spain?" WHAT? No..again I am from.. you know what nevermind.

After the enormous wave of "Do you like Spain(ish)..etc." they get just downright comfortable.

" Do you like party?" ...um yes.
" What are parties like in America?"...ummmmm we go to bed earlier than you.
" Do you like beer?" yes.

" Do you like spliff?" ....okayyyyyy

continuing...

" Do you have boyfriend?"...no
" Are you married?" ...no!
" Do you have baby?" WTF.

and continuing...

" Do you like Spanish men?" (eyeroll) yes.
" Do you prefer Spanish men over American men?" are you seriously asking me this? how old are you again??? 11?

Oh the constant entertainment. My roommate Courtney had some dousy's as well. Courtney has been doing the program for three years and as a seasoned veteran shes heard it all.

Courtney's story:

Courtney: So class what did you do this summer?
Student: This summer I went to Miami and saw the bitches fighting on the street.
Courtney: Did you mean beaches. You went to the beach.
Student: No I at breakfast I saw the bitches fighting on the street. Bitches ..PUTA... bitches!

Teacher: Bitches is not a nice word. A better word is prostitute or whore...(teacher then writes WHORE on the blackboard).

Then another student apparently asked (because Courtney is from Florida):
"I heard on the Simpson's that Florida is the penis of the United States" -NICE!

After I finished peeing my pants after this story I decided to grade some papers from my Bachellerato class. My Bachellerato class consists of students practicing for a test (equivalent to the SAT) and they MUST pass English...

well we've got some work to do..

Essay question: Do you think noise is necessary for enjoyment?
(yup I had crickets cheerping in my ears too when I thought about it)

BUT heres what they said..of course I took notes.

"However, there are places where teenagers makes "botellon" some party in those places there is a lot of noise because some people think that loud music is better."

This kid used the word Botellon..which is Spanish and it is an outdoor party. Good Job. Totally appropriate for an exam.

This girl wants to say that noise is necessary for enjoyment because it can help her find clubs and parties

“ On the other hand, noise is able to be good. For example, noise is able to do you find a party or a clubnight or to even find somebody.

This girl was trying to say to be loud was fashionable..as if all the cool kids are loud.

“ we can say (that) the noise is related to the fashion because everybody want to go to noisy places to enjoy. “

And then theres this girl:

"I think that noise is not totally necessary for enjoyment because there are other forms for enjoyment as for example if you talk calmly with a friend, or if you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend it is not necessary it does noise for enjoyment because all is told by only a glance often, reading is very enjoyable too and it is not noise either." (ONE SENTENCE!)

Too many romance novels my dear..

Then we have this dosy:

"I think that yes, because when go to the party noise or music enter into the body and help have fun. But also molest, because there is much noise, it can molest neighbors. If the noise or music molest, you have a big problem because the police can denounce , or call attention, but this not need be so."

Apparently this kid thinks sound can molest

and i have no words for this one below:

"I think that people aren’t noise for enjoyment. In the first place, noise don’t like to nobody. It is some pesky for ours hear. We can have headache and we can finish all crazy. In the discoteques is normal hat the music sing loud. When you go to the disoctques you know that the music pesky but you go here because you want it. When you have a small brother for the night you don’t sleep because he cry and he make noise."

I mean I guess he tried using personification....
And now this one:

"In my opinion make noise isn’t necessary for enjoyment. Why moreover at night the people must dream and loud music for a long time is estthesing. Moreover te motocycles very noisy."

This kid finalized his essay about motorcycles. Even though he wrote entirely on parties. Motorcycles. Yeah! It all makes sense now. Thank you.

This girl below liked to replace her M's with W's...what a strange wistake..i mean mistake!:

"When a group of people weet with other people and they speak, they wake a lot of noise. They weet for enjoywent, then the noise is necessary."

And this kid below just wrapped it up in one clear concise sentence. The winning conclusion is...

"In conclusion everybody is very bad listen loud music"

In conclusion, I read 50 essays a total of 12 hours of reading bad English. Needless to say I decimated their essays in red ink. I used about one full red pen's worth of corrections.

In their defense the excerpt they had to read was downright aweful and confusing...part of it was talking about crops and how they smell. How that related to noise..I do not know. And to the motorcycle boy's defense. It did randomly mention motorcycles for one brief sentence. I don't know.

Anyway now I feel as if I can work for the CIA or FBI in their decoding department. Experience...12 hours of translating poorly written english essays about whether NOISE IS NECESSARY FOR ENJOYMENT.

This week is Halloween. I having them bob for apples, trick or treat, AND monster mash. Whose the most awesome teacher ever. (pointing finger at self in a proud confident manner..hells yeah)

Next post..I dont know. I'll surprise you guys.