VIVA ESPANA VIVA MALPALPA Y ARROYO..VIVA MIS PROFESORES

SO before I depart I feel it is only necessary that I updated you on the total epicness and chaos that was my Christmas Dinner in Spain.

holy.shit.

I have two schools as I have said before. One in Malpartida and one in Arroyo. As traditional Spaniards these people love their alcohol and they love to party. Both schools had dinners but I decided to go to the Malpartida dinner because 1) they were paying for my dinner and 2) they asked me first. Soooo Malpartida it was.

My main teacher in Malpartida is named Oti ...(oh only if I had fotos!!!! por favor ..madre mia) Oti is this crazy awesome woman who is well always late. She is always late when were going to school, to the dinner, to everything (I've learned the majority of swear/slang words and terms for "idiot" from this woman). Well anyway she comes running to the car that picks everyone up and she has....

She had her blinking christmas tree earrings. That played music. YES

Anyway thats not the real crazy part. First we start off at 9 getting a few beers. Two beers. Check.

We then head to the restaurant. Fancy. High class. Excellent. Im excited. A 50 euro meal for me! For Free! Bring it.

First off we are served red wine..which to my unknown knowledge was being constantly replenished by the wait staff. Every time I thought I was finishing my glass and turned away...it was refilled. And after a while you forget... so 4-5 glasses?? (maybe more?). check.

We start eating. I get the fish as the main plate but that's just the main plate. I get seafood soup, some weird toasta thing that was delicious ( it had mango and i dare say...liver, but I just wont think about that), fancy mushrooms in soy sauce (not a favorite), cod (the main dish), then dessert which was fruit and a toffee drink..of course with some champagne. so champagne. check.

Ok sorry sorry. Was distracted by the food. Now one to the funny stuff. The conversations.

Now if you have never studied a language abroad, I am going to tell you now, its way easier to speak in another language when you are ..well after a few drinks. But here are three of the conversations of what I think I understood.

"MAI! You must find a boyfriend. That is the best way for you to learn Spanish! TONIGHT We find you a boyfriend. OK? OK! MAI! We must dance after dinner! DANCE! Did you know "dancing" is a medicine for small children in Spanish?" - Patricia
- Yup she did make that transition. Boyfriend and Medicine.

"MAI! I have a joke for you. 6 men were in a military plane ready to jump out. The commander ordered them to jump out of the plane and deploy their parachutes. They all jumped out...but one with hesitation. The commander yells at the soldier and the soldier jumps out. The commander closes the door and goes back to the cockpit. All of a sudden he hears a knock on the door. Confused he goes to the door (they are still in the sky). He opens the door and sees the hesitated soldier flapping his arms asking "whats the name of the indian! whats the name of the indian!" and the commander goes ....."GIRONAMO!" - Oti
- It took me a second. Spanish humor is a little different :). I told my banana joke. Did not go so well. Anyway moving on!

"MAI! Are all people in America mixed? Is it difficult..you know with the customs? I just can't imagine. Only Chinese people here mix with the Chinese people in Spain. You are an impossible possiblity!" - Montse
- Im going to let that one slide hahahah

Ok 6 glasses of wine later....

Present time! We did a gift exchange called the "amigo invisable" or aka yankee swap. I bought wine and truffles thinking that was neutral and mature. My mistake. I was supposed to find the most random gift I could possibly imagine!

First gift: Some mugs..but o wait they are cheap and written in poor english. Is that a coconut candle?

Second gift: a hippie necklace. which was given to Alfonso the 68 year old man who earlier in the week explained the difference between saying you are good and if you are "fine" aka hot and the difference between saying you are warm and saying you are horny. so awkward. anyway Alfonso got the hippie necklace

Third gift: a shoe shine box???? I dont know but everyone got free shoe shining for the rest of the night!

Fourth gift: a reading stand. yeah.

Fifth gift: my gift. which was on purpose. they made me read the letter out loud to practice. but anyway the gift was a fairy paperweight. it was a fairy sitting on a paperweight holding another paperweight. with all sorts of glitter. So there are about 60 photos of me sitting like the fairy holding the paper weight with the fairy holding the paperweight..all in a santa hat. imitation photos...check

sixth gift: a gael garcia marquez book titled Memoria de mis putas tristes. This caused the entire 30 person table to go in uproar and chant "PUTAS" which means "whore" in a high upper end restaurant. epicness check.

and the gifts continued. the waitress brings "chupitos" which are shots. chupitos check. and the camera then became popular. i now have 100 or so other photos of me and the english department battling the french department for the camera and the santa hat. guess who won?

anyway so now i have atleast 4 different types of alcohol in my system. plus random food. and i am going to admit now..i ended up puking in the bathroom. yes i did. i do not have the tolerance or stamina like these people!! i'm half asian i dont process alcohol. please stop laughing at me.

as i leave the bathroom upset i threw up my 50 euro meal i return to the total drunken shit show that are my teachers. I then find my teacher Mamen kissing..everyone. Love her! <3

time to leave.

now on the way to the car they have me singing the english part of feliz navidad while they sing the spanish (so i had a solo) all the way down the street. at the top of our lungs. check.

time to go to the pubs. more drinking. oh.my.god.

first off the woman who was driving. should not have been driving. worst drive ever. and my teacher oti was laughing hysterically about it the entire time. yesssss.

anyway we get to the first bar. and its all old Spanish music about bulls and there were a hundred "oles" in there. Then Oti randomly tells me " all the high school men are happy" and she tells me to "look". I have no idea what this means. I can assume but Id rather not. Moving on.

we go to the next bar. time for dancing (not the medicine..the english one)! this bar brings back the 90's flash back and we rock out to "i saw the sign" YES. Patricia tries to teach me flamenco. fail. Montse tries to push me on spanish men. They want to find my "novio" but later Patricia decided " your boyfriend is not here...look around. no. they are not good enough". Thanks Patricia. Also my coat almost ignited on fire. drunk teachers smoking near a wool coat. Fail.

We continue to dance and then! I get a phone call. Its Pepa from Arroyo!!!! Being the total manipulator that I can be sometimes I convinced her to come to the bar I am at with (which I did not know would happen) the entire staff of Arroyo.

So now the entire bar is dominated with my two schools!!!! Arroyo and Malpartida! YESSSSSSSS! Party! Party! Party! We dance, I accidentally almost kiss people on the mouth(remember I am still getting used to the kiss kiss), We battle over who is better Michael or Madonna. Epicness. The night ends well. I probably spoke my best spanish over a good quantity of alcohol and I got to see all my teachers before Christmas. check.

This is a photo from the ham dinner in Arroyo but..I think it sums up everything nicely "VIVA LA REPUBLICA! VIVA ESPANA!"...and yup he is standing on a stool.

how do i take down that blinking awkward sign over my head

So while I have been ragging on my fellow Spaniards on their quirky style, I think its time I start noting my inability to blend effortlessly into the Spanish culture. In short, I always end up acting like a total American Spaz. And its only me. All the other Americans...you guys are fine. I think I just have issues in this department.

First off.. I basically came here not speaking a lick of Spanish. Yup I took it in college...two years ago and I dont remember a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. Hence my reason for coming to Spain. Have to learn somehow.

Anyway I have been sort of improving...I have more vocabulary now. I have mastered the present tense (I think)..and well...ok the present tense only. The past tense is in the working process. Lets not even talk about subjunctive.

While most Spaniards try to speak slowly to help me learn. Others...I think enjoy me relishing in discomfort.

For example or por ejemplo. This 16 year old heiress who I tutor loves to constantly remind me that I "speak Spanish with a English accent".
Well..I am from America. I do speak ENGLISH. And you know what! Its "an English accent". Grammar lesson for today. If the word begins in a vowel..you use "an"! She also charmingly told her father, who I just introduced myself to, that I could speak english but not Spanish and that I couldn't explain English grammar to her in Spanish.
(burries face into hands)

I also cannot do the effing lisp. And of course every student I call on...has the lisp in their name.

"what is your name?"
"celia" (pronounced "thelia")
"thelia?"
"no (stronger th)THelia."
"Theliaa?"
"NO THHHelia"

Ok nevermind! Next student.

"What is your name?"
"Alejandro"
"Alehandro?"
"NO. Aleha(with a hack)ndro."

(in my mind.. FUCKING A)

"Whose name is Carmen?... You Carmen..I mean Carrrmen. Answer the question."

Finally. Phew (wipes brow).

And then there is the the Double Kiss or what I affectionately call the Kiss + Kiss

In Spain, they do the double kiss (like France). No biggie right.
Well not for this mentally challenged American right here (points to self)!

First night:
My teacher greets me. Im jetlagged, Im sleep deprived, I just went through consulate Armageddon to get here and she whips out the Kiss + Kiss out of the blue. I thought this was only in France. My bad. Left right or right left.... FUCK

First week:
I keep forgetting the effing Kiss + Kiss. I can't remember. I just cant. I end up doing the Kiss + Kiss while holding my hand out for a handshake. AWKWARD

Second week:
Im confused. Do you just make a kissing sound or do you actually kiss. Wait. Why are you shaking my hand now, because you know Im american? Im so effing confused!

1 month:
At the Irish festival, I run into the attractive young math teacher, who of course has the beautiful nice girlfriend who you can't hate.

But all is fine. We chit-chat. I practice Spanish. All is at ease....

Then the dad shakes my hand (yup I then met the whole fam..brother included) Are they going to do American customs now? Im confused.

Lets continue.

Chit-chat some more. I accidentally spill beer (sigh..what is wrong with me)And then the dreaded....goodbye. Dad shakes hand. Brother waves. Girlfriend kiss + kisses. WTF do I do.

The math teacher goes last..he goes in for the kiss + kiss.

and then.

WHA BAM!

Oh.my.god. I had actual pain in my cheek bone. My instinct is to place my hand on his face like a mother places her hand on her child ( a mommy gesture), and the awkwardness continues, he accidentally leans his face into my hand and now its SUPER awkward.

As the rest of the family continues to look on.

Mortified I apologize profusely as he leaves and then I run and cowl in the corner. I continue to obsess over my humiliation on the way home, in the apartment and now on this blog! Its going to take me weeks...

And sadly this was not the first time it has happened. Yes I have accidentally headbanged other Spaniards. Nice to meet you :)

And i know all you Caceres lectores are ready to whip out the "thats what she said!" after that second to last sentence but let me end in peace! shesh.

OH BROTHER!

before i post..i have an unhealthy obsession with this car commercial!


wipe your tears now...(sniffle)

As you know I have been teaching English...I don't know if you would really call it teaching though... its more like we go to class for 12 hours with no tests or class on Friday. And we get paid.

sighh....our days are so taxing.

But my students are pretty funny. Lets see here..Lets see. Well the first week they had to ask me questions about myself.

Some spit-fire questions from my students in Arroyo de la Luz

" Do you like Spain?"..obviously
" Do you like Spanish food?" ...I've been here three weeks and have only eaten ham..so uh I like the cheese.
" Do you like Spanish?" ..no I hate Spanish thats why I came to a Spanish speaking country.
" Where do you live in Spain?" Caceres.
" Are your parents living in Spain?" WHAT? No..again I am from.. you know what nevermind.

After the enormous wave of "Do you like Spain(ish)..etc." they get just downright comfortable.

" Do you like party?" ...um yes.
" What are parties like in America?"...ummmmm we go to bed earlier than you.
" Do you like beer?" yes.

" Do you like spliff?" ....okayyyyyy

continuing...

" Do you have boyfriend?"...no
" Are you married?" ...no!
" Do you have baby?" WTF.

and continuing...

" Do you like Spanish men?" (eyeroll) yes.
" Do you prefer Spanish men over American men?" are you seriously asking me this? how old are you again??? 11?

Oh the constant entertainment. My roommate Courtney had some dousy's as well. Courtney has been doing the program for three years and as a seasoned veteran shes heard it all.

Courtney's story:

Courtney: So class what did you do this summer?
Student: This summer I went to Miami and saw the bitches fighting on the street.
Courtney: Did you mean beaches. You went to the beach.
Student: No I at breakfast I saw the bitches fighting on the street. Bitches ..PUTA... bitches!

Teacher: Bitches is not a nice word. A better word is prostitute or whore...(teacher then writes WHORE on the blackboard).

Then another student apparently asked (because Courtney is from Florida):
"I heard on the Simpson's that Florida is the penis of the United States" -NICE!

After I finished peeing my pants after this story I decided to grade some papers from my Bachellerato class. My Bachellerato class consists of students practicing for a test (equivalent to the SAT) and they MUST pass English...

well we've got some work to do..

Essay question: Do you think noise is necessary for enjoyment?
(yup I had crickets cheerping in my ears too when I thought about it)

BUT heres what they said..of course I took notes.

"However, there are places where teenagers makes "botellon" some party in those places there is a lot of noise because some people think that loud music is better."

This kid used the word Botellon..which is Spanish and it is an outdoor party. Good Job. Totally appropriate for an exam.

This girl wants to say that noise is necessary for enjoyment because it can help her find clubs and parties

“ On the other hand, noise is able to be good. For example, noise is able to do you find a party or a clubnight or to even find somebody.

This girl was trying to say to be loud was fashionable..as if all the cool kids are loud.

“ we can say (that) the noise is related to the fashion because everybody want to go to noisy places to enjoy. “

And then theres this girl:

"I think that noise is not totally necessary for enjoyment because there are other forms for enjoyment as for example if you talk calmly with a friend, or if you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend it is not necessary it does noise for enjoyment because all is told by only a glance often, reading is very enjoyable too and it is not noise either." (ONE SENTENCE!)

Too many romance novels my dear..

Then we have this dosy:

"I think that yes, because when go to the party noise or music enter into the body and help have fun. But also molest, because there is much noise, it can molest neighbors. If the noise or music molest, you have a big problem because the police can denounce , or call attention, but this not need be so."

Apparently this kid thinks sound can molest

and i have no words for this one below:

"I think that people aren’t noise for enjoyment. In the first place, noise don’t like to nobody. It is some pesky for ours hear. We can have headache and we can finish all crazy. In the discoteques is normal hat the music sing loud. When you go to the disoctques you know that the music pesky but you go here because you want it. When you have a small brother for the night you don’t sleep because he cry and he make noise."

I mean I guess he tried using personification....
And now this one:

"In my opinion make noise isn’t necessary for enjoyment. Why moreover at night the people must dream and loud music for a long time is estthesing. Moreover te motocycles very noisy."

This kid finalized his essay about motorcycles. Even though he wrote entirely on parties. Motorcycles. Yeah! It all makes sense now. Thank you.

This girl below liked to replace her M's with W's...what a strange wistake..i mean mistake!:

"When a group of people weet with other people and they speak, they wake a lot of noise. They weet for enjoywent, then the noise is necessary."

And this kid below just wrapped it up in one clear concise sentence. The winning conclusion is...

"In conclusion everybody is very bad listen loud music"

In conclusion, I read 50 essays a total of 12 hours of reading bad English. Needless to say I decimated their essays in red ink. I used about one full red pen's worth of corrections.

In their defense the excerpt they had to read was downright aweful and confusing...part of it was talking about crops and how they smell. How that related to noise..I do not know. And to the motorcycle boy's defense. It did randomly mention motorcycles for one brief sentence. I don't know.

Anyway now I feel as if I can work for the CIA or FBI in their decoding department. Experience...12 hours of translating poorly written english essays about whether NOISE IS NECESSARY FOR ENJOYMENT.

This week is Halloween. I having them bob for apples, trick or treat, AND monster mash. Whose the most awesome teacher ever. (pointing finger at self in a proud confident manner..hells yeah)

Next post..I dont know. I'll surprise you guys.

Welcome to my city!

watch me butcher spanish, be startled by my friend Will, and say bell tower 800 times all while giving you a grand tour of Caceres!




Hello Everyone!

Long time no read. I apologize for that heinous posting below. Boring content and bad writing. But thats what happens when you have zero internet and are trying to write a post in the library.

But now I finally have internet and can write long posts about overly generalized opinions about Spain.

Yesterday the telifonica man came out of the blue to install our internet at 10:00 on a Saturday morning which is unheard of in Spanish time.

Lets first generalize about time. Spanish time is always double of the actual time.
For Example:

" We will be leaving in a half an hour to an hour."
(Two and half hours later.... )

The time here in Spain is just overall ... insane. Shall I bullet????
Yes I think I shall.

~ The Sun does not rise...repeat does not rise.. until 8:30 a.m. ~

Can I explain the confusion this can generate for an intense morning person. Our whole beings involve us morning folk waking up to and by the sun. No sunrise no morning person.I go to school in the morning in the dark. I am walking through the halls in the DARK. Just LOCO!

~ People go out at 1 a.m. and don't go home until 8 a.m. ~

Nope I did not get a.m. and p.m. confused nor are there typos. You read that correctly! The reason people here siesta from 2-5 p.m. and eat dinner at 10 p.m. is..drumroll... so they can go out until Spanish time sunrise.

This is absolutely the most intense lifestyle EVER. Some clubs don't even open until 6 a.m.

If you tell a Spainard you want to go to bed at 3 a.m. or 4 p.m. they just yell at you and tell you you are " Parrty Pooperr!" and that " It's early! It's early!". The only defense is to say" I'm American."

My students often ask me " What are American parties like?". One awkward question..but I say and only say " We go to bed earlier than people in Spain. We go home after parties around 3 a.m. maybe 4 a.m." and that just erupts loud baffled whispering for a solid 10 minutes.
I dont even have words for this..ok maybe one. INSANE

~ Nothing is open. EVER. Or during hours when most convenient. ~

Siesta is a serious serious matter in Spain. While things don't open until 10 a.m. (AT THE EARLIEST), everything, literally everything, closes at 2 - 5 p.m. for siesta. NO ONE works 2-5. No ONE. Top marks on the life style list.

I know what your thinking... "Oh the important things must be open during siesta." WRONG (eeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh slamming the wrong buzzer over and over and over and over). The government bodies and important places such as the bank..they close at 2 p.m.!!! They dont even open after 5. Yup. I mean it makes getting your residency card and setting up your bank account to get paid virtually impossible...but its also kind of awesome. How this country functions..my bet Madrid and only Madrid..maybe Barcelona.

While I am struggling to adjust to this time schedule the Chino store has helped me through, the chino store, the most reliable genre of stores I will ever come across in my existence. My whole being survives on the graciousness and the accessibility of the Chino store. The Chino store is ..well.. that random shop run by Chinese. And these stores are LITERALLY called Chino stores. For example Chino Bazaar, Bazaar de Chino..etc. etc. They take pride in the ability to keep foreigners like us living cheaply and as if we were in a normal country. Im proud of you Chino stores and I am proud to say half of me belongs to your race. Live long and prosper!

~Now lets move on to food~

The five basic staples of the Spanish diet: ham, cheese, bread, ham, and ham.
Everything is ham, every style of ham you could think of, they even have ham flavored chips that they eat with their ham sandwich. Everyday all the students (every single one) eats the same ham sandwich, a baguette with cheese and ham, EVERY student EVERY day. I will take a picture one day and prove this to you.

The Spainards do eat other things...sometimes. Sometimes they eat tostadas..well which usually is a piece of bagette bread and ham, or tapas which is also bread cheese and ham..o wait same ingredients ..ok ok . Sometimes they eat payeya (can't spell) which is rice and shellfish. Or sometimes they eat eggs with potatoes called Tortilla de patatas. Or sometimes (scratching head - thinking intensely) sometimes they will eat some peppers or lentils maybe.

OH shoot and Papas Fritas and mayonaise. They love their papas fritas and mayonaise.

~Style.~

Lets go onto style. (Spain is a haven for cheap shoe shoppers everywhere!!! Yup that is the first thing I noticed and I am super excited to by cheap black flats on a monthly basis if I wanted too.)

The Spanish style is relatively distinct. You need skinny jeans, leggings, and a botched haircut. The clothes are modern and interesting, you can wear almost anything you want. Some people even go all out and wear the same color all the way through.. yup some people just wear entirely one color..or others combine different articles of clothing in ways I cant explain but are cool.

But the hair. The hair is oh so ridiculously awesome. The hair..ok I will list again.
1. Mullet
2. Drullet (mullet with dreads in the back)
3. Rat tail
4. Side rat tail
5. Side dread rat tail
6. Randomly shaved head
7. Randomly shaved heads with random dreads
8. Fohawks
9. 90's front spike (YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT)
10. Side-bangs

So many options so little time to regrow your hair! Im going to have to rock one of this at some point...Im thinking the side dread rat tail but I also am loving the drullet.

~OH and the language.~

Now my Spanish was bad when I got here. It still is bad. I knew this was going to happen ..but I had no idea that I would have absolutely no idea what anyone says. At school Boston University we learned MEXICAN SPANISH. You think not..but we did. Ok remember that minor detail that every spainish teacher voluntarily left out..oh yeah thats the VOSOTROS form...yeah. They use the vosotros here. They also lysp there "c"s and in Extremadura my region they mesh everything together and omitt the "s" (similar to how Boston omitt's the "r"). My best strategy for speaking in Spain is the slur all my words together..much more effective than pronounciating.

Overall ESPANA. Te Quiero. Love Spain. I love my students, I love my city Caceres, and I love the people I know here.

Caceres is an old moorish city covered in stork nests with no storks because they have gone south for the winter, intense conquistadoresque buildings, a plaza mayor, and a normal part with clubs, shops, and restaurants. Caceres is small (80,000 about the size of Quincy) but it is big enough to have a social life and since it is in the remote countryside, living is cheap and affordable. A+ in my book.

Caceres is also a catholic town, many catholic churches and it has its own Virgen de la Montana (the virgen my street is named after). The virgen of Caceres that they haul down from their mountain(hill) in an absurdly ornate parade. They also have crazy religious processions with pointy hats and huge heavy platforms where they carry statues of the saints. There is even a nunnery where the nuns never see any outside person. You can buy pastries from the nuns through a rotating door. Very cool.

And though Caceres is a "catholic" city..it knows how to party party party. In attempts to become the cultural capital of Europe, Caceres has been putting on crazy cool events. Last weekend, my birthday weekend, was the visual arts festival where they had a light show on all the major cathedrals and buildings. The light shows were tailored to the building so it seemed as if the buildings were emitting these crazy psychedelic light patterns. They also had amazing d.j.'s rocking out while the light show was being displayed on these antique cathedrals.
Two words "Catholicism Rocks"




Also I love my pueblos. I work in two towns Malpartida de Caceres and Arroyo de la Luz. My teacher who picked me up from the bus station is the main English teacher in Malpartida. She virtually did everything for me besides hand feeding me. I was lucky since some auxiliares teachers didnt even contact them let alone help them.

Malpartida is a small suburb of Caceres. My school is teeny tiny but the students are fun. Most common questions " What is your favorite Spanish food?", "Who is your favorite Spanish Actor?", "Do you like Spain?", "Do you like Spanish?", "Do you have Spanish friends?", "Do you like Spanish men?"...absolutely ridiculous. After you get through those wave of questions its relatively smooth sailing. These kids have never heard anything about America, only the U.K. so there is a vast vessel of information to give them.

Arroyo is the other town 45 minutes away. The students are super eager to learn, ask less questions about my opinion of Spanish things, and are from a town known as the "pueblo de los caballos" ..TOWN OF HORSES. EPIC win. The teachers are super friendly and the students have actually made me consider becoming a teacher. Teaching made fun.

My life is pretty simple and I am enjoying it as much as I can. Hopefully I can improve my Spanish so I can stop being mute at parties and bars. In time..in time. Im building up that vocabulary.

Next post is going to be about my schools again..I have left out so many details but a blog post can only be so long. AND I will get to China..I will.

Besos!

Journey to CACERES!!!

HELLO EVERYONE

I am going to put China on hold and write about my journey to Spain. I haven't had internet in weeks so I that is the reason for my lack of blogposting.

Last week I arrived in Caceres the city of storks. The trip here was (to say the least) "interesting". I had just arrived back from China on September 27th and had just gotten over some sort of "flu" (that will go into the China post...ohhh the details" and was ubber jet-lagged.

First task...get the visa. YUP. I had one day in the states to get my Spanish visa. Since the Junta (the education department) did not send my letter which was necessary for my visa on time, the Spanish Consulate in Boston had to process my visa while I was in China. I arrived the 27th and then had to go in Monday morning on the 28th to get my visa in order to leave THAT NIGHT at 9:30.

Two hours after sitting in the consulate I grabbed that visa and booked it, and i mean BOOKED it out of that consulate.

And back to the airport.

I get on my seat and take a deep sigh of relief, I hope we start moving. I fortunately sat next to some nice german students who were the first and probably only german vegetarians i will ever meet We talked about american parties, how americans go to bed to late and drink terrible beer. It was quite entertaining. We finally lifted off and Only bother was the person in front of me whose seat was basically touching my forehead. but whatever. Im going to Spain!

I land in Madrid and go through the easy customs I have ever experienced. Literally a customs lady stands outside of the terminal, glances at you visa and that is it. THATS IT. I was convinced I had to do something else, some other line, but then I there was baggage claim. GREAT! I made it.

I get to the bus station buy a ticket to Cacers and realize I have two hours to wait. So I decided to call my teacher.

Easy enough right??? Oh if only someone was video tapping me trying to drag my two monster sized luggage bags as I go buy something to get change for the pay phone. Nothing was really open but the heladaria (ice cream shop) so I think..ice cream is good why not. I break my euros and get an ice cream.

Now I am dragging my two bags, which dont roll very well, and my ice cream, across the bus station to the phone, two of which dont work and one which ate my coins. Finally I get to one that worked.

"HOLA! Otilia. Es Mai Lombardi, tu auxiliare de conversacion"

"OH Mai, how are you?? (english thank god). Where are you? Do you need me to pick you up?"

"I am on a bus to Caceres I should get in at 9:30?"

" what time?"

(phone hangs up).NOOOOOOOOOOOO. This happens atleast four times. Finally the last call.

" Mai, I am wearing a white shirt, I will see you at 9:30.BYE!"

FINALLY. So I wait for my bus. Why isnt it posting the terminal? I drag my bags AGAIN now to the ticket counter. "donde es el autobus?"

Terminal 57.

I finally get on the bus. ALMOST THERE. Someone is getting me. Halelueigh!!! I also fortunately met another Auxiliar (english conversation assistant) who had done the program for three years. We arrive in Caceres together and my teacher drops her off at the Albergue (the hostel). I go back with my teacher and get a full meal and shower. Finally some luck!!!!

I am Don Quixote and Spain is the Windmill.

blog post soundtrack song: the final countdown (appropriately by Europe) - video below

OK. So for the past six months. (yes. since the seaturtle incident). I have been trying to go through this process to get to Spain. But the process has been nothing but head bashingly difficult. And by head bashingly I mean that right now I feel like Don Quixote and that Spain is the windmill kicking my ass.

It all started back in February. Jobless and defeated I decided that this is the time that I need to get out of this country and fulfill my dream of living abroad.

It is going to be a year before Peace Corps. Plenty of time to squeeze in another abroad program.

I go to Diana. "Man. I wish the Spanish government would do the same type of program that your doing for France."
Diana: " Mai. They do."
Me: " are you serious."
Diana: "Yeah let me send you the link."

I look and realize the deadline is two weeks. I CAN DO THIS. I scramble my spanish essay together and literally stalk my Spanish teachers for recommendations. I get ahold of everything, my teachers say they can write the letter,
I think. THINK. I am all set.

Week 1:
And then I am introduced to Profex. The website is designed for Spanish students going abroad and asks confusing irrelevant questions like...your green card number. The site is also a matrix and once you filled in all your appropriate
information. It crashes. Confused. I showed the site to my Spanish teacher from Madrid
she goes " what is this system?..what..its frozen now..why is it asking you this! I do not understand...". Yup it was from then on I should have known..I should have KNOWN!

Week 1.5
My professors explain to me that they are in exam week and will be a little bit late in writing my recommendation. I pace and pace and pace.

week 1 and 6 days
A week and 6 days pass. My professors finally manage to finish them. I grab my recommendations and slam that application overnight in the mail. FINGERS CROSSED.

Three months later
(Even though the website said they would notify you in two weeks).
I get an email. You are on the waiting list. There are 400 kids ahead
of you. I accept defeat.

BUT THEN. I get another email.

Hello Candidate,
We have a few other positions available in different regions of Spain. Please let us know if you are willing to accept a position by letting us know your first three regional choices by Monday 29 at 12pm.

I think "IM IN". I jump and dance around. Envision my life in sunny Espana! JOYOUS WORLD.
But wait. What is this last sentence.

"We will continue to go down the wait list according to application number (i.e. still follow the first come first served format of assignments).Please respond by 12pm, June 29, 2009 if you are still interested in participating and becoming a cutural ambassador in Spain starting October 1st. Thank you for your continued interest."

Im confused.
Am I accepted or not. I email the head of the Ministry. There are 42 people
in front of me. I wait.

And then I get another email... I have a choice between Madrid, Extremadura and the Balerica Islands. I am so worried I wont be accepted that I say I will go ANYWHERE.

They put me in the most unknown part of Spain. Extremadura. That is Fine. By. ME. As long as I am going I couldnt be more HAPPY.

So now I know I have to go on to the next step. Getting the visa. Before I even applied to the program my Uncle, for my graduation gift, granted me a trip to Hong Kong to visit my family. I am so thrilled and honored. But wait. The trip is from September 12 - 26th. Orientation is the 29th. I need NEED to get my visa before September 12. I have time if I get my letter right away.

I instantly email the junta of Extremadura begging for my letter to be sent immediately so I can get my visa. They respond as if I was expressing concern over being homesick ...weird. Lost in translation maybe. But whatever lets wait for this letter. Dont want to be pushy.

July passes.

August passes.

Im emailing on a two week basis now. Where is my letter?!? I start having nightmares about this visa. I will be gone two weeks in September and NEED to get this visa before Hong Kong.

Why aren't these people responding? its been a month! The secretaries at my law office notice my stress. I start getting paranoid..was I not accepted. Was this a hoax?

Finally a response, translation

" Dear Mai, We are sorry that we have not contacted you. We have been on holiday (no kidding...you didnt respond for a month!). We sent your letter July 27th. You should have gotten it by now!!!"

it. got. LOST. (shakes fists angrily...grits teeth. etc.)

"We will email you and mail you a new one."

OK. Thank you. Deep sigh of relief. Thank god.

But then two days pass.. Why haven't they emailed the letter. I have one week to get this visa! Dear god let me get it soon!

Friday morning 6:30 am. I GET MY LETTER. Thank the lord. Now everything should be ok. I email the consulate immediately for a visa appointment. Hopefully they will understand my situation. I want to get to orientation so I can meet everyone in my city. Please. Someone. Help!

They email back 5:30 at night.

"Dear Mai the next available appointment is September 14th."

OH NO. I will be in China. I email them back explaining my situation.. and then read under their file.

"We must hold the visa and we will not accept applications that are not four weeks in advance of the program."

seriously.

So I am in this current position. And I just accidentally emailed the consulate three times asking to change the appointment date to September 27th. Now I'm pretty sure they are already hate me.

Lets hope I can get this visa...and finally get there. please please please!

Enjoy

SeaTurtles and World of WarCraft

ALRIGHT. It has been a while since Ive written a post and this one is a dousy!!!! So since I have graduated I have been applying to jobs going to interviews etc. I majored in International Relations with a focus on Environment and Development so I have been looking for jobs relating to that field.

WELLLLLLLL since I only know how to find things through Craigslist I look under their job site and find this one job posting for a Program Coordinator for this non-profit who sends students to China to learn Chinese and save Sea Turtles. I would be provided with the airfare, food, housing, and $1200 a month along with the opportunity to learn Chinese and save seaturtles. The site even had a company email and photos of students saving seaturtles. photo show below.

Sounds great right?!! Yeah thats what I thought. Oh just wait.

So I apply and get called for an interview. Im psyched. The guy says lets meet at the aquarium and I can have my interview there. So I get ready and its POURING, like sheets and sheets of rain, Noah would have been no match for this rain, type weather. As I get into Boston the guy calls me about five times to reschedule the interview time. Annoyed I agree, continue to incessantly feed the meter, grumble in my wet shoes, etc.

Eventually I go meet him. Now I am partially skeptical of this non-profit after reviewing the site with my friend Caroline. It had some weird youtube video of kids saving sea turtles to "We are the World" as the background music. ANYWAY

I finally meet with this guy and he hands me the brochure, looks legit, and we start talking. Half way through this aquarium guy in aquarium scrubs comes out and the interviewer was like " Sorry I have to go talk to the sea turtle vet can you wait a minute?". I agree. BUT now am SUPER PISSED. I have had to wait for this guy for like 5 hours.

I wait. ...still am waiting...45 minutes later I decide to go feed the meter. Its pouring I get soaked again. ....15 minutes later I return. WET. and MAD.

Eventually the guy returns and he is like ok lets restart the interview. So now he has his laptop out. Not even looking at me. Clicking on the screen. I dont even know if he is listening to me.

And then he asks if I have any questions.

OH BOY. My turn.

I say yes.

Me: " So um how did this organization get started?"

Interviewer: "Well, see, I play World of Warcraft professionally and am working for this gaming company. I was in China for a convention and noticed these sea turtles being sold to restaurants. Ive always wanted to do something with a purpose so I decided to start this organization and my gaming company is donating 20 cents per game to help me fund it"

Me: " World of WarCraft?"

Interviewer: " Yes. The video game.... Dont you have brothers."

Me: " No. I am an only child."

Interviewer: See there are things like swords you need to collect. ...(random video game jargon that I completely tuned out). So basically your job would be organizing the students and the staff with the sea turtles and then working for my gaming company setting up gamers in China to work and play for gamers in the U.S."

Me: "Ummmm..ok... so how many students do you have enrolled."

Interviewer: "Oh none. I havent had that worked out yet. Do you have any suggestions."

Long conversation on how he basically does not know how to run an educational abroad program. And how hes an idiot and how no highschool students parents would send their children to work in China with marine life without serious serious insurance provided.

Me: " Ok" (in head thinking. free food, housing, airfare, 1200 bucks a month) " So I'd be provided free airfare, housing, food and a stipend of $1200 a month"

Interviewer: "Yes....I mean wait no. Not $1200."

Me: " That is what your Job Posting said"

Interviewer: " I meant in Chinese currency so Id be more like $600 for the three months. Is that a problem."

Me: "Yes" I walk out.

SO basically I was interviewed by this random guy who wants to save sea turtles in china and is funding the project by playing world of warcraft..... awesome

ROADTRIP USA

Well my dream came true and I was offered the opportunity of a lifetime... A ROAD TRIP across the USA: San Diego - Boston. And bygolly I took it. See my friend Maura, a victim of the Northeastern co-op program, and was laid off from her co-op in San Diego. Since she could not afford to live there she needed to drive back home. This is where I came in. I hopped on a plane and let the adventure begin!

The first night, and every night there after we had margaritas. iced. with salt. regular. yum.


The first day it was raining. So we decided to drive 2 miles north to Los Angelos and see Hollywood and Bel Air. Finally all those Fresh Prince images finally had a location in my mind.






The next day Maura showed me around glorious San Diego. Im not sure if it was a pleasure to visit a paradise or torture from the fact that I had to return to grey New England. Also Maura got her nose pierced as a departing gesture to San Diego.





The next day we set off and in the first day we hit three different terrains in like 45 minutes. It was nothing short of ridiculous. We saw rock mountains, sand dunes, desert, illegal agriculture. We also drove from San Diego to El Paso Texas. Shazam!










Then we Drove from El Paso to Austin Texas. El Paso was boring with really inefficient Walgreens. Austin was an awesome hippie town with bizarre tropical birds. We hung out with some University of Texas students and played bananagrams. I rocked. Maura is practicing.





Next we headed off to New Orleans. This was supposed to be a short day of driving..OH boy were we wrong. First off we were going to stop in Houston because the highway we were driving on I10 went right through it. Well ...we didnt see it and actually drove right through Houston. Dont know how that happened. But we did stop in Beaumont so Maura could buy some cowboy boots. Finally when we hit Baton Rouge there was intense traffice. Why? Because everyone was drunk from Mardi Gras. There were 6 car accidents from Baton Rouge to New Orleans causing about 5 hours of traffic. At one point I had to pee on the highway and people were dancing in the streets having a party.

Nevertheless. Mardi Gras was pretty cool. Minus the weird adventure the night before in which the car stalled and rolled into the gas station and there after we went to a late night cafe in which Maura talked to this crazy man about tattoo's. Were trying to forget that whole incident. but anyway. Mardi Gras had lots of floats and drunk people. Like you thought.











After New Orleans we drove up to Memphis. We drove through Mississippi in 4 hours. We got to Memphis and went to Beale street to hit up BB Kings House of Blues. And it was AWESOME. We met some fun New Zealand guys. Got to dance. And be in music's hometown.






Well Memphis didnt turn out to be so cool in the morning. Maura's car was broken into and had her ipods, gps, and fm transmitter stolen. We also got a flat tire on the way and was overcharged for a faulty tire. I then drank a coke and redbull to drive all night. Which didnt happen so I had a caffeine attack around 3 am. It was a disaster.
oh also. the next morning we got a speeding ticket. screw Tennessee.






Well the last day we had to drive 19 hours to get home. We drove from Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island. And. FINALLY. Massachusetts. It was insane. The trip was nonetheless AMAZING.