Summers here and with the wrath of the global warming dieties upon us my brain is shriviling away and with it my 42,000 dollar college education. Now a good responsible student would keep those brain muscles toned and in shape with numerous amounts of reading, but that would be to practicle. Instead I have used my valuable spare time with watching useless tv(infomercials baby), ichat stalking, facebook updating, finding music, driving aimlessly, going to every beach on the southshore, obtaining an unusually dark tan and last but not least..blog writting.. occasionally I throw some responsibility into the mix in which i scoop ice cream for cash and ride horses for lazy owners.
1. Ice cream- after 5 years I feel I have learned most of the tricks of the trade in recieving some extra mula(tips)..basically I subtly sell myself while serving ice cream but here are some "tips" (harharhar) for you waitressing aficionados
one: always look painfully happy to the point where your face hurts
two: appear confident but relax as if you are doing the ordering for them
three: dress casually but put together ( jewlery does not hurt)
four: pause when giving back change
five: wear a red sox hat ( MAJOR POINTS)
2. horses- I ride show horses for owners who dont have the time but have the money for the equestrian world
3. tv- ohh infomercials, the dailyshow/colbertreport lineup, animal planet with the pops, and the loads of guilty pleasures I refuse to mention
4. beach- I have successfully gone to the beach everyday for the past two weeks in which I not only work on my italianchinese mixed tan but my mad frisbee skills
(humarock and the spit are by far the two best beaches in the south shore)
5. computer- oh dear facebook, ichat, and this blog have disgraced my life..i have spent countless seconds, minutes, hours...wasting time updating, "browsing" and chatting via internet. Also my lovely mac is my portal for music, lyrics, and occasional random tv clip, quote, or poem
6. driving- this hippocritical "hippie" burns gallons of fossil fuel to visit her friends in borewell cough..spat..excuse me i mean norwelll ...multiple times in the day ..it doesnt help that it is a jeep wrangler..top down..irresistable entertainment
And while were on the topic lets get this out in the open and straightened out.
I AM NOT A HIPPIE..not even close..its like a full time job ..I will admit I dress bohemian but I am in fact not a hemp growing, pot smoking, dreadlock wearing, tie dye loving, socialist hippie. My perception of this so called "hippie" is that these extreme liberals are extremely knowlegable in the art of politics, local/organic farming, and conservation.
Top Reasons Mai is not a Hippie
1. I eat meat: if i was reallly a hippie id be against the "cruelty" of slaughtered animals and the affect meat has on the ecology of the world
2. I dont know shit about politics: I have no idea ..i understand the basis of liberalism...but I dont exactly know what certain polticians stand for..I do recognize Barack Obama's name..and that hes a cool guy...and that George W is borderline retarded but thats as far is it goes for politics
3. My clothes are products of corporate america: I donot weave my clothes from hemp I grew myself from seeds I found in the woods walking in the local area.
4. I dont take acid: Lucy in the sky with diamands is not my homegirl...I make my own tangerine trees and marmelade skies. i hear its quite the ride ..but its just not my style..anyways im psychotic as it is
5. I like to shower: I always flush the toilet and shower everyday..yes Im wasting valuable fresh water that could be used to help many 3rd world countries...but Im selfish
6. Im not obsessed with Bob Marley..one love baby and thats not for reggae
Top reasons people THINK Mai is Hippie
1. I went to UVM for a year
2. I have conservational tendencys ( I buy local organic food and feel guilty about certain things)
3. I have an unsual love for hummus and granola
4. I am disgusted and vehemently against nonorganic large abusive dairy farms that readily supply america with its vast amounts of dairy products
and the kicker!
5. I dress sort of bohemian..NOT hippie..bohemian..DONOT get the two confused ..I like big jewlery and gaucho pants....not homemade unwashed clothes that may or maynot be tiedyed.
well now that that is off my chest and I have sufficiantly wasted a good hour in writing this I am signing off for now...ciao
