holy sweet mother of jesus...

Do any of you remember the flight of the navigator???? That weird 80's movie where the pre-teen travels through time on a spaceship..anyway he finally goes back to his family and takes with him a little alien pet that looks just like..well this newly discovered lemur! GOOD HEAVENS THIS alien IS REAL!...its so adorable i cant bear to look at the thing. You just want to squeeze it and make annoying glass shattering high pitched dolphin squeeking noises....you know what Im talking about..YES YOU dont deny it.

get set everybody

Summers here and with the wrath of the global warming dieties upon us my brain is shriviling away and with it my 42,000 dollar college education. Now a good responsible student would keep those brain muscles toned and in shape with numerous amounts of reading, but that would be to practicle. Instead I have used my valuable spare time with watching useless tv(infomercials baby), ichat stalking, facebook updating, finding music, driving aimlessly, going to every beach on the southshore, obtaining an unusually dark tan and last but not least..blog writting.. occasionally I throw some responsibility into the mix in which i scoop ice cream for cash and ride horses for lazy owners.

1. Ice cream- after 5 years I feel I have learned most of the tricks of the trade in recieving some extra mula(tips)..basically I subtly sell myself while serving ice cream but here are some "tips" (harharhar) for you waitressing aficionados
one: always look painfully happy to the point where your face hurts
two: appear confident but relax as if you are doing the ordering for them
three: dress casually but put together ( jewlery does not hurt)
four: pause when giving back change
five: wear a red sox hat ( MAJOR POINTS)

2. horses- I ride show horses for owners who dont have the time but have the money for the equestrian world

3. tv- ohh infomercials, the dailyshow/colbertreport lineup, animal planet with the pops, and the loads of guilty pleasures I refuse to mention

4. beach- I have successfully gone to the beach everyday for the past two weeks in which I not only work on my italianchinese mixed tan but my mad frisbee skills
(humarock and the spit are by far the two best beaches in the south shore)

5. computer- oh dear facebook, ichat, and this blog have disgraced my life..i have spent countless seconds, minutes, hours...wasting time updating, "browsing" and chatting via internet. Also my lovely mac is my portal for music, lyrics, and occasional random tv clip, quote, or poem

6. driving- this hippocritical "hippie" burns gallons of fossil fuel to visit her friends in borewell cough..spat..excuse me i mean norwelll ...multiple times in the day ..it doesnt help that it is a jeep wrangler..top down..irresistable entertainment


And while were on the topic lets get this out in the open and straightened out.
I AM NOT A HIPPIE..not even close..its like a full time job ..I will admit I dress bohemian but I am in fact not a hemp growing, pot smoking, dreadlock wearing, tie dye loving, socialist hippie. My perception of this so called "hippie" is that these extreme liberals are extremely knowlegable in the art of politics, local/organic farming, and conservation.

Top Reasons Mai is not a Hippie
1. I eat meat: if i was reallly a hippie id be against the "cruelty" of slaughtered animals and the affect meat has on the ecology of the world
2. I dont know shit about politics: I have no idea ..i understand the basis of liberalism...but I dont exactly know what certain polticians stand for..I do recognize Barack Obama's name..and that hes a cool guy...and that George W is borderline retarded but thats as far is it goes for politics
3. My clothes are products of corporate america: I donot weave my clothes from hemp I grew myself from seeds I found in the woods walking in the local area.
4. I dont take acid: Lucy in the sky with diamands is not my homegirl...I make my own tangerine trees and marmelade skies. i hear its quite the ride ..but its just not my style..anyways im psychotic as it is
5. I like to shower: I always flush the toilet and shower everyday..yes Im wasting valuable fresh water that could be used to help many 3rd world countries...but Im selfish
6. Im not obsessed with Bob Marley..one love baby and thats not for reggae

Top reasons people THINK Mai is Hippie
1. I went to UVM for a year
2. I have conservational tendencys ( I buy local organic food and feel guilty about certain things)
3. I have an unsual love for hummus and granola
4. I am disgusted and vehemently against nonorganic large abusive dairy farms that readily supply america with its vast amounts of dairy products
and the kicker!
5. I dress sort of bohemian..NOT hippie..bohemian..DONOT get the two confused ..I like big jewlery and gaucho pants....not homemade unwashed clothes that may or maynot be tiedyed.



well now that that is off my chest and I have sufficiantly wasted a good hour in writing this I am signing off for now...ciao

start wearing purple

Id like to introduce you to my HERO Eugene Hutz, the front man for Gogol Bordello. His most famous song "start wearing purple" is featured in one of my favorite movies " everything is illuminated" (he plays alex..the best character in the entire movie) ..i recommend you illegally download it NOW

pooh bear!

that would be a kitten..yes a feline friend, looking up at the BEAR in the TREE

greatest hits

songs you hate to admit you love

1. I just died in your arms tonight- White Snake
2. Blinded by the light- Manfred Mann
3. Ice ice baby- Vanilla Ice
4. Living on a prayer- Bon Jovi
5. I think were alone now- Tiffany
6. I touch myself - The Divinyls
7. Like a prayer- Madonna
8. Girls just want to have fun - Cyndi Lauper
9. Video killed the radio star- The Buggles
10. I can see clearly now the rain is gone - Otis Redding
11. Hit me baby one more time - Britney Spears
12. Like a virgin- Madonna


it started out as songs that were easily stuck in your head, and then it some how ended up more as 80's girl power with a dash of early 90's

nationals

welcome to nationals my friends
5th out of 18 schools(colleges) that qualified for nationals, 400 schools(colleges) total

the welded pentacle

A secret society more inexplicable than the illuminati now inhabit the South Shore. Their origin is a mystery but their symbol has been known for ages, the welded pentacle, or metallic star seen hung on many South Shore homes. These stars come in all shapes and sizes according to membership rank and can be seen by others miles away. Whatever this secret "society"'s plot/motive is, it is probably against dignity and common decency of the average New England family, especially in terms of tasteful decorating. The welded pentacle must be stopped.

Bertie Botts

" here eat this one"
"UGHHH its Rotten Egg"
"QUICK CHASE IT WITH A LEMON"

moment of zen

- there is something barbaric about chunky peanut butter and moldy cheese
must see summer movies
- THE LAKE HOUSE (" its kind of a long distance relationship"...)
- CARS ( inanimate objects can have a romantic relationships too!)
- WORLD TRADE CENTER ( a mustache like no other)

Chicago

THE PLACE LOOKS LIKE HOGWARTS complete with greathall, assigned dining hall tables, house names, gothic buildings, and students refer to each other by year number

new testament

Well heres my Golden Moment of the Week: The other day a man was handing out the new testament to people walking by infront of the bookstore. So I enter the bookstore without having to go through the awkward moment of saying "No thanks Im rejecting God" type deal with this guy and attempt the perform the same manuever on the way out. So as I was heading out I chose the door farthest away from this poor guy and open it as far as I can to avoid eye contact and walk swiftly in the opposite direction. Well I was so concerned with not making eye contact that I failed to notice that I had opened the door to far and it snapped back and hit me before I could walk away in time. I realized right there that God was punishing me and that man who was giving the testament probably felt a sense of justice as I was physically attacked by this door. Atleast I confirmed his belief in God by sacrificing my dignity.

piccioni

confession

someone told me i should create a blog a while ago and ive been thinking about it but it went against my internet morals
however facebook destroyed that so i figured this couldnt be much worse


and apparently I struggle without the aid of spell and grammar check( I need to proof read these things)
I am nothing without you microsoft word!
...ok im done

the shaking of heads

So after a few requests (not that my life is that interesting..slightly pathetic..but generally average) and for another source to channel my procrastinating energies towards, I have decided to create a blog.

So lets begin with my thrilling easter weekend that left the UVM campus a modern day ghost town

After realizing that a good portion of my brain was being taken up by knowing all the lyrics to Wannabe from the Spice Girls I decide to gather my horsy things and borrow my suitemates bike ( which is far to big for me) and ride down to see my new campadre "sparky" (adorable i know). So as I casually bike down East Ave. I think my cell phone is ringing because I decided it would be a intelligent idea to make the ringtone sound like birds. Well being the genius that I am I reach for my cell phone at the exact moment that I hit a bump in the sidewalk and do a swandive/belly flop into the pavement only to realize that I cant tell the difference between my cell phone ring and actual birds.

So after I pull myself to my feet ( which are much more reliable than my biking skills) I burst into a state of panic that I wrecked my suitemates bike and verbally terrify the attractive witness who stopped to help.

Finishing my 1,023,257th socially awkward moment of the year I come to find my suitemates bike is still in once piece and carefully(keyword) make my way to the barn hoping for an enjoyable ride to make up for this unecessary tragedy.

I eventually make it to the barn only to discover that the owner of Sparky decided to give him a bath the first day I come down to ride her horse. So after I explain why I look like I fell out of a car wreck and that I was fully aware that I was bleeding I come to the conclusion that almost all ( there are a few wonderful exceptions) horse professionals that are slightly crazy and I pray to god I wont fall into the world of the mentally deranged. Crazy lady basically asks me to train her 5 year old horse who shes barely broke and explains that her "angel" can be a "slight" handful
(not concerning)
So after nearly killing myself so I can have this lady watch me ride her horse because I thought it was the responsible thing to do she decides she doesnt want him ridden that day because she had given him a bath.

PERFECT

sidenote: I unfortnately miss riding the bike in the unexpected hail storm that to the horrors of college boys across the universe knocked out the satellite television.
(if only i could have ridden back in the hail in rain to finish the day right..no such luck)